Based on your astrological sign, what sort of bagel are you?

On January 15, we celebrate National Bagel Day, and because we are all flawed circles with unfillable emotional gaps,

there is perhaps no better metaphor for the human predicament than the humble bagel.

The origin of the bagel is difficult to determine, according to Maria Balinska, author of "The Bagel: The Surprising History of a Modest Bread,"

because round bread has a presence in many cultures. However, the oldest recorded record of the bagel dates back to 1610 in Krakow, Poland, the year of our yeast.

Bagels were supposed to be given to ladies after childbirth because, let's face it, bread beats a robe and an episiotimy scar any day.

The birth bagel indicated a healthy delivery and a long life ahead, just as challah is cooked and enjoyed during Rosh Hashanah in hope for a full year to come.

The design of the humble bagel prompted some Medieval customers to believe it possessed magical powers,

a belief shared by me and anyone else who has ever eaten a bagel breakfast sandwich while suffering a terrible whiskey hangover.

Americans owe their devotion to the venerable bagel to Jewish immigrants who brought the bread to the continent at the turn of the century. 

This group went on to organize the illustrious Bagel Bakers Local 338, a trade union that established production standards,

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